Spanking.

After a discussion on one of my favorite websites, I've decided to post my thoughts on spanking on here. I know, I know... I'm a 20 year old first time parent to a 4 MONTH OLD. What do I know about spanking and discipline?

Well. I was spanked as a child. My parents never left marks or anything, and I never got more than 3 swats (except once I got 5 and that was a really bad day. Lol.) and I could tell it genuinely hurt them to have to spank me. I had this involuntary trembling thing...it was really pretty pathetic. I did it when they yelled, too. Yes, I cried when spanked. Of course I did! It was more out of embarassment and shame than pain, though.

Neither of my brothers or myself ever had a problem with hitting other kids. I can count on one hand how many times I remember us getting in trouble for hitting, collectively. We understood the difference between spanking and hitting. I don't think it's rocket science... I have no problem with telling a kid not to hit and then giving him a spanking. It's just different.

I would never spank out of anger though. As a kid, I didn't get why my parents would send me to their room for a spanking and then make me wait in there for like 10 minutes before coming in. I thought it was to create suspense and make me even more of a mess. But now I understand. They were calming themselves down. And I appreciate it now.

My husband was never spanked though. His mom chose to yell at him...and now he yells too. (never at me, and not at Hudson yet...lol yelling at a 4 month old is just unneccessary) I personally can't handle yelling, because my parents rarely yelled at me. Yelling makes me terribly uncomfortable. I'm not sure how Hudson is going to end up being disciplined. It'll be a trial and error thing for a while, I'm sure. Some kids handle spanking better, some kids just need a time-out. There's definitely no "one size fits all" solution when it comes to disciplining kids.

Someone mentioned treating a kid like you do a dog. Training experts recommend not hitting a dog, ever. I definitely smack my dog...lol. I have had sensitive dogs before that I did not smack, ever, because it really hurt them and they didn't understand why I was smacking them. A stern "NO" did the trick. But when Stella, my chihuahua//corgi mix (who acts so much more like a human teenager than any other animal I've ever met) looks at me and takes off the other direction when I'm loading up the car, (and have my hands totally full with the carseat, diaper bag and whatever else I'm loading up) and I have to run her down and catch her, I give her a smack. Not super hard or anything... But she freaking knows better!

One last thing. Some people criticize parents who spank and say that their kids behave because they're afraid. Like in the discussion I previously mentioned, one girl mentioned all she has to do is look at her daughter and she quits her shit. (she also spanks her daughter) I think there's a healthy level of "fear" and respect a child should have for their parents. I totally get that "look" cuz my mom gave it to me all the time. People always commented that we were such well-behaved children, and it was because we behaved, because didn't want a spanking. And I think that's okay! If your kid behaves because he doesn't want a spanking, I think that's great. You don't actually have to discipline him because he already behaves. I think spanking is more effective, and you don't have to do it as often as time-out etc. Kind of like a shock collar for a dog...one zap usually does the trick. They get the idea, and they don't repeat the behavior because they're afraid of the consequences. Make sense?

If you find yourself spanking them frequently though, you might need to reconsider your choice of discipline. Anytime you're having to do something repeatedly, you might want to double check that you're doing the right thing for your kid.